October falls...

October has definitely arrived in Barcelona. The days are cool and overcast, and the rain is more sporadic and less stormy than before. It starts getting dark early too, and the mornings are often dark until late. There are less tourists also, and the shops now have their lights on before the shut, giving me that festive sense I associate with, dare I say it; Christmas. Yes, I found myself singing the Irish language version of Jingle Bells this morning.

Lately I have been waking up with the uneasy feeling of a nightmare hanging over me. The themes are all fairly familiar. I betray someone, and then they betray me. I am abandoned. People are put in situations where I can do nothing but follow the rules set out before me and hope to conclude the whole horrible business. I am unsure if I have these nightmares because I have a hyper-active little cat sleeping with me, or if it is because I sleep fitfully at best at the moment anyway, or whether it is because of a general all-pervaisive sense of guilt over something. What I do know is that I dread once again waking up and I do my best not to recall the dreams.

Barcelona is still full of the little beercan sellers on every corner, but they are less insistant than usual. I think that they sense the summer is over and I wonder what they will do for the winter. Now the Romanian women and crippled refugees are back out in force, wailing pitifully in the lanes and arches of the city, amongst various mime artists representing Elvis and Che Guevara. There are two brown-painted german soldiers who look very like cast iron figures whom I loathe because they are so realistic. I have to remind myself that they are just a couple of lads trying to make a few pence to get by. I do get annoyed when I pass the closed petshop kiosks though, with all the animals chattering and screeching pitifully inside as the owners don´t bother opening up for days like this.

I have been thinking a little about what I am doing with my time again. Recently I recorded 3 more songs, albeit rough versions, to practice with Darren and Gordon. I will be going out to Darren again tomorrow to lay down some more tracks, and I am looking forward to it despite the horrible experience I had last week when I got the metro at the Red-line and was pressed against by an old man who denied doing anything wrong when another fellow on the train pulled him away from me and yelled at him. I was glad I´d a few minutes to pull myself together before Darren came to collect me, cos I really felt shaken. The tea and banana cake I had also helped. There is a night bus that means I don´t have to take the last metro home if I choose to stay late, which is great. And tomorrow it will be the three of us and I am not in work til midnight the following day which is great.